Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
