No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
