pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize