Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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