haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
