We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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