Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
