Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
