I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
