PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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