Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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