There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
