its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
