That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
