Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
