Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
