You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
