theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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