You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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