we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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