Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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