genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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