You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
