would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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