You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
