Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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