I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could make wine with my vomit
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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