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I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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