her vagine was all disorganized.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
