Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
