she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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