i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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