but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
