I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
