dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize