If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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