You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
