i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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