it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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