You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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