Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
