I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
