so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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