Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize