you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize