Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
