When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
