YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
