i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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