Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
