I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
