They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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