I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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