So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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