I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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