Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
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