i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
