absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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