i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
