The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
